Till now, even though I oftne see sick pple is bed, the scariest sight is still seeing loved ones battered by age.
The way, they succumb to withering of their bodies, so vulnerable, shrunken up, and dependent, yet that an old familiar face, had grew up with me.
It is jus a period of time that is passing, after all, they are only in the fifties. still young. it freaks me still to think of the future.
Keep it at bay!
I went to the airport twice in 2 weeks. once in every 7 days. I like the coldness in the silent, my face against the cool pane of glass. I watched the planes glide into the air, and fade into the dark sky. The last time, I was there alone was in sec school, the day, I wanted to be so alone, to hide and cry. A lowest point in my schooling life.
This is the second time I am there, alone again.
Read some verses which made me scream.
“How long more must I wait?
How long more must my heart be sorrowful?
How long more will u forsake me?”
Met an impressionable lady. She 51, the same age as my mother. Told me how lucky she will be if she has a daughter the same age as me. She shared her life to me, 2 broken relationships, 7 yrs each. Both of them only stumble her faiith. Now 20 yrs alone, she still prays that God will give her another chance on love. I marvelled.
Sundays, which to be my favourite day, became my saddest day. The sting is still there at times. Why does it still hurts? Certain things are not meant to be started. Guard the heart.
Ran to the beach last mon. Saw a father playing with a kid on the sand. Gigglish frolick, rolling around the sand. The dad took off to spend time alone with the kid. undivided attention, Devoted time. Aloneness on earth, sitting on my Father’s lap. Made me smile at the golden sun rays, my hair russled, my heart tingled. For so long, i;ve not felt this way. He was so close.
Sunday today, I cried buckets again. so weak. this is not me. I want to change, I want back my own. Where’s that rebound. I will still keep faith, not becos I am deceiving myself, but it is the only sound thing still to do, Allow my saviour to redeem me again!
